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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26271094">Vanilla Twilight</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang'>idrilhadhafang</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Ben Solo Lives, Fix-It, M/M, Past psychological abuse, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Resurrection, ben solo redemption</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 05:35:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>705</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26271094</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ben doesn’t know how, but he’s going to redeem himself.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Poe Dameron/Ben Solo, Poe Dameron/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Darkpilot Songbook</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Vanilla Twilight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Disclaimer: I own nothing. </p><p>Author’s Notes: Based on “Vanilla Twilight” by Owl City.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was in the afterlife that Ben looked around and saw that he was in a place that was all too familiar. Adani. He could remember long ago, when he’d sat outside the Temple and levitated things with Tai next to him, Voe and Hennix seated not far away from him. That was before everything had burned. That was before everything had gone to hell. </p><p>His mother and uncle were there, and Ben knew...he ought to be angry at both of them. He ought to be furious. But his uncle...he looked so scruffy and tired, so very alone, and it dawned on Ben that this wasn’t the same man who had intimidated him on Crait. That was no more than a mask. Like his mask, at least. </p><p>"Ben,” his uncle said, “I didn’t...”</p><p>”You already apologized on Crait,” Ben said, curtly. “I can’t say that was good enough.”</p><p>He watched his uncle’s eyes widen in that moment. Ben continued. “You were willing to save grandfather. Why weren’t you willing to do that for me? What was so awful, so rotten about me, that you hated me?”</p><p>His uncle shook his head. “I don’t hate you, Ben. I never did.”</p><p>”Then why?” It dawned on him that he was so much like Rey in that moment, wondering why. </p><p>“I was weak,” his uncle said. “The night I went to you...I could swear it was like something was inside my head, controlling my movements. Like it was manipulating me like a puppet. I...” His voice cracked. “I learned it was Palpatine. I was ready to defy him on the Second Death Star, but I couldn’t...I didn’t...”</p><p>”Luke,” Leia said, “He did it to me too. Not the mind control thing but...definitely gaslighting. Mind rape. I was hoping that he hadn’t gotten to you. Or Ben.”</p><p>”So all this...”</p><p>Ben didn’t have lungs, but if he did, he had a feeling his breath would be going out in horror. Palpatine, using Ben’s mother and uncle as pawns, all for his own revenge. </p><p>”I’m sorry,” Ben said. “You...didn’t deserve that.” It just seemed wrong now, laying into them both for being psychologically abused by Palpatine. </p><p>”We both tried to atone,” Luke said. “Yoda would say there is no try, but...you’re here. You weren’t supposed to die, Ben.”</p><p>”Maybe it’s better that way.”</p><p>”No,” Leia said, and she sounded so fierce, so determined. “I won’t let you.”</p><p>”I ruined Poe’s life! I ruined everyone’s lives...”</p><p>”And you can’t fix them if you’re dead,” Leia said. "Ben, I wanted you to live. Poe did too.”</p><p>”Because he hates me,” Ben said. “Because I taught him hate.”</p><p>”Because he loves you.” Leia said. “I know, Ben. I’ve always known.”</p><p>There was their interactions prior to Exegol. Everything. </p><p>“Yes. But...he’s better off with someone who can make him happy.” Rey...she had felt more for him than he did for her. It wasn’t like he hadn’t felt a degree of kinship with her, but she seemed to love him just for what could have been. What she could have seen. Even the kiss...it was more gratitude, acceptance, than anything. “Rey too.”</p><p>”Do it for your family then.”</p><p>Ben paused. </p><p>”I didn’t do everything right with you,” Leia said. </p><p>”We all didn’t,” Luke said. </p><p>”But if we can fix this...at least give us a chance, Ben, to give back to the galaxy. Make our sacrifices matter.”</p><p>Slowly, uncertainly, Ben nodded. Leia and Luke extended their hands, almost like they were practicing lifting an X-wing with the Force. </p><p>”Mom, Uncle...” he began. </p><p>His mother’s smile was the brightest he’d ever seen her. “I know.”</p><p>***</p><p>He was naked when he woke up. That, at least, was embarrassing, Ben thought even as he looked for clothes. He knew he wouldn’t take simply being there for granted ever again. There were ridiculous Sith cultist robes. Ben supposed that would do. It would be useful for disguising himself, especially since he knew where he needed to go. </p><p>Not home, immediately. He needed to go beyond the Outer Rim, everywhere. </p><p>He needed to find what was left of the First Order. He needed to take the rest of them down. </p>
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